Vishniac (video review)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nsusdz2zi8
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Tag: one-stars
Bachelorette
Leslye Headland’s Bachelorette is an unfunny, miserable experience that toddles around for 90 minutes with three people so obnoxious that you wouldn’t want to share an elevator ride with them. It is a comedy that strives to be an earthier recreation of Bridesmaids and The Hangover, but it is neither as clever, nor as funny […]
John Carter (2012)
John Carter is lumbering epic monstrosity, a boring film that looks great but goes nowhere. Here is a science fiction western with a visual look so engaging that you are firmly caught up until about the 30 minute mark, after which this pathetically dated story becomes repetitive and wears out its welcome. The bad news is that […]
The Blind Side (2009)
The opening scene of The Blind Side successfully establishes a football analogy that, for someone unlearned in the game (like me), helps to explain the game from the coach’s point of view. Over footage of Joe Theissman’s gruesome 1985 career-ending compound fracture, the narration tells us that “The first check you write is for the […]
Home Alone 4: Takin’ Back the House (2002)
Home Alone 4 might be the strangest movie ever filmed in Capetown, South Africa. That’s not a joke; the budget on this movie was so low that South Africa seemed the only viable option for filming. Throughout the film, I keep looking at the backgrounds to see if I could spot anything that was distinctly […]
Catwoman (2004)
Catwoman is mounted on one incontrovertible truth: Halle Berry looks great in black leather. This is a fact displayed all through this laborious hemorrhoid of a movie. It is virtually unwatchable, yet you can’t deny the fact that she is a natural wonder to behold. Great pains have been taken to properly photograph her eyes, […]
The Amityville Horror (1979)
The poster for The Amityville Horror tells us – practically screams at us – the words “For God’s Sake, Get Out!” Having seen the movie, I’m not sure if that is meant for the characters or the audience. The Amityville Horror is a haunted house movie with termites. It doesn’t really move so much as […]
