Jailhouse to Milhouse (2024)
I had a minor resistance walking into Buddy [...]
Tag: one-stars
The Loft (2015)
I’d rather stab myself with a fork then watch this movie again. The only thing that I knew about The Loft when I walked in was that it was made four years ago and, for one reason or another, is only now getting a theatrical release. Having seen the godawful movie, I understand why no […]
The Pyramid (2014)
Right out of the gate, The Pyramid loses me. This is a movie about an ancient pyramid that is discovered buried under the sands of Egypt that is unusual in that it has only three sides excluding the base. That means it’s actually a tetrahedron. I have the strangest feeling that no one involved with […]
Annabelle (2014)
Okay, let’s talk about this stupid doll. It’s not scary. Yes, it’s creepy because it’s made to look creepy in a movie sort of way. That’s the wrong approach. Dolls are creepy only when they were made to be cute and innocent and you can clearly see that somebody at the drawing board needed to […]
22 Jump Street (2014)
If you fell in love with 21 Jump Street, it might interest you to know that the 22 Jump Street is the exact same movie. The bad news is that this time no one appears to have had any interest in making the sequel funny. Here is a movie in which the cleverest element is […]
God’s Not Dead (2014)
God’s Not Dead is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Here is a movie that buries itself in the guise of a “Christian film” which suggesting that if you’re not a practicing Christian – if you’re an athiest or an agnostic or a Muslim – that your life is an unhappy slog of misery, bitterness and […]
RoboCop (2014)
The remake of Robocop is a colossal miscalculation. I’m all for remakes that change up the original material, but this movie does it in such a way as to drain all the juice out of the material until we are left with a dull, boring, lifeless bag of sand. Let’s put it this way, that […]
Ender’s Game
“Ender’s Game” is like a multi-million dollar video game that you never get to play. The ads confidently inform us that “This Is Not A Game”, but gee, it sure looks like one. The characters shoot at each other, and then shoot at selected non-human targets. Ships fly around in formation while a player directs […]
Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax (2012)
One of the problems with the recent attempts to adapt Dr. Seuss’ books into movies is Hollywood’s tendency to intrude upon his work with cute, snappy dialogue and slapstick comedy, and expand on appropriately thin material with gobs of hip-cool dialogue and needless subplots. Anyone familiar with Dr. Seuss’ books knows that this is completely […]
