Jaws 3D (1983)

Let’s face it, Jaws was never an idea that was ripe for sequels.  Once you have the basic formula, you’re kind of just repeating yourself.  That was the problem with Jaws 2 and it’s is certainly the problem here.  The location is switched but its still just the story of a bunch of tourists who are unlucky enough to be in the path of a pretty aggressive Carcharodon carcharias who is looking for a hot lunch.  That’s not really a progressive idea.

The gimmick with this movie was a new revival of 3D using new technology, which was reportedly not any better or worse than the old process.  The image apparently looked dingy and dark and the process made everyone look like cardboard cut-outs.  Of course, I wouldn’t know.  I have such severe myopia in my right eye as to render it useless, and since you need two eyes for this process to work, it was meaningless to me.  You were still issued 3D glasses with a red lens and a blue lens and since I am blind on my right side, the whole movie looked completely red.

Therefore, with the gimmick out of commission for me, I am stuck with the story and, well, there isn’t one.  There’s a set-up, a brief plot description, but not anything that you can call a story and no one that could be mistaken for characters.  The connection point is that the main characters are the sons of Roy Scheider’s character from the two previous films but after that introduction, they aren’t any more or less functional than anyone else in the movie.

The sons Sean (Dennis Quaid) and Mike (John Putch) are working at Sea World Orlando.  There is some passing mention that Sean is dating a water-skier and Mike wants to marry his girlfriend.  Meanwhile the park’s new attraction is an undersea kingdom, a walking tour in which the tourists can walk through glass tunnels in order to be closer to the marine life.  The problem starts when a baby shark gets caught inside one of the gates and its mother comes looking for it.  Chaos ensues.

I think my description probably makes this sound more interesting than it is.  Jaws 3D is not a movie that is thought out very well beyond the bare bones of the plot.  Your point of interest is the 3D process and the joy of seeing dozens of hapless victims get chewed up by the shark.  You get that.  You get it in 3D.  You also get it with cruddy-looking special effects.  I, personally, got it all in a shade of red from my 3Dglasses so, thanks for nothing.