Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

Lord knows I’ve seen enough gut-bucket slasher movies to know that the promise of “The Final Chapter” is only a piecrust promise, easily made and then easily broken.  It’s about as reliable as “You can trust us” or “No new taxes.”  But as gimmicks go, it is a clever one.  You get audiences in the door for the final showdown and then behind the scenes try to figure out how to keep it making money.  Hey, there’s a profit to be had.

Having sat through the previous pictures, I can tell you that the producers of this movie are not exactly in the spirit of trying anything new.  For fear of offending fans by veering off the beaten path, the movie instead balloons up the content.  Friday the 13^th: The Final Chapter is bloodier, more violent, more aggressive, there are more characters, the movie is certainly louder and I think the body count is higher.  That is exciting news for the film’s eager patrons but a pain in the butt for the average film critic.

What exactly can I report about this movie?  It begins almost 2 hours after the end of the previous movie.  It takes place in the same territory and Jason dispenses the same axe-to-the-face justice as he did in the last movie – only this time he’s not doing it in crummy 3D.  That’s probably a good thing.  The movie really wastes no time getting to the blood and guts and they don’t stop until the movie is over, and yes, the movie dispenses with Jason in a way that kills him off while offering up a healthy dose of sequel-bait.  Again, profits.

I don’t know what all this adds up to.  I’ve never really been the fanbase for this stuff.  Watching twenty-somethings hacked up with a machete has never really been something I’ve been eager to witness.  I admit, I’m a wimp.  I tend to avert my eyes when Jason stabs someone in the face, or strangles someone with a piece of barbed wire, or impales someone with a pole, or guts someone with a scalpel.  I can’t say anything of his purpose, but I’ll give him points for variety.