Vishniac (video review)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nsusdz2zi8
[...]
Tag: one-star
Bright (2017)
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. This will not do. I’m sorry but no matter how you bend it, twist it, turn it, pull it or stretch it, the word ‘Orc’ just doesn’t work in a cop buddy movie. The fact that Bright – Netflix’s first attempt at a massive big-budget theatrical-style fantasy – […]
The Purge (2013)
Why didn’t they just go to Europe? James DeMonaco’s “The Purge” operates on a premise that is so stupid that you feel like throwing rotten fruit at the screen. As you’re watching it, you hope that the screenplay will make up for its insipid ideas with a logical explanation, but no, this is one of […]
V/H/S (2012)
“V/H/S” is the latest in the “found footage” horror genre. Like “The Blair Witch Project” and “Paranormal Activity,” you are suppose to feel as if you are watching newly recovered raw footage that begins as an ordinary home movie but then goes horribly wrong. The chief problem is that the movie leans on a premise […]
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
I don’t care about this movie, I really don’t. I’ve been burned too many times to even care at this point. Something about this series slips my brain into a state of bilious apathy. To admit that this movie is better than the previous installment is like saying that a rectal exam is easier to […]
I Am Number Four (2011)
I guess he’s fortunate that he wasn’t Number Two. I Am Number Four is a teen science fiction thriller so shabby that it resembles a failed TV pilot that never got picked up. If it did, I can’t imagine that it could muster enough interest for public access. The main inspiration seems to have been […]
Battle: Los Angeles (2011)
Watching Battle: Los Angeles is like eating a really boring dessert. Once you’ve finished it, you immediately forget about it and never ask for seconds. Afterwards you’re sorry that you even bothered. Here is a war movie filtered through an alien invasion movie and rings the cliches out of both genres, often at the same […]
Mr. Popper’s Penguins (2011)
I’m not kidding, I wanted to leave Mr. Popper and his annoying penguins within the first 15 minutes of their movie adventure. This movie is an irritating experience, and I’m not saying that because I stand outside of it’s demographic, this is a fundamentally misguided exercise that will bore and frustrate your average 7-year-old. You […]
Cashback (2006)
Cashback is one of most cynical, sexist and insulting movies that I’ve seen in many moons. I can only hope that it is many more moons before I see its like again – maybe an eclipse just for good measure. This is a movie that tries to be a sex comedy, a love story and […]
