Galaxina (1980)

Galaxina promises so much and delivers very little.  It’s a comedy that is too slow; a sci-fi movie with very little imagination; and it’s a sex farce so tame that you wonder why anyone bothered to hire Dorothy Stratten. 

Stratten is really the reason anyone would bother to see Galaxina – I assure you it ain’t for Avery Schreiber.  She is the gorgeous Playboy Playmate from 1979 and the ads feature her in very generous skin-tight outfits, but it should be noted that while she does wear such uniforms in the movie, she does not appear naked.  Why?  I’m not exactly sure.

The movie that surrounds her is pretty featherweight and dull.  She plays a robot onboard an interstellar police cruiser called Infinity.  She’s mostly off to the side for the first half of the movie, appearing only to look gorgeous before disappearing from sight so that we can listen to Stephen Macht and Avery Schreiber trade jokes about were eggs come from.

The film moves at a snail’s pace as it tries to spoof Star Wars and Star Trek but the reference jokes don’t land, they sputter out: “If a jackass had your brain, he be a very dumb jackass.”

Schreiber is Cornelius Butt who commands the space police cruiser that also features Sergeant Thor (Macht) and his right-hand man Buzz.  Also, the ship’s engineer Maurice (Lionel Mark Smith) and the wise oracle Sam Wo (Tad Horino).  It’s not really necessary to list all of the characters since they are basically superfluous, but I believe in being thorough.

Crew of the Infinity goes on a mission that will take 27 years, requiring them to be in hypersleep.  During this time Galaxina modifies herself to be a better lover – which is an upgrade that the movie introduces but then forgets to follow up on.  Instead, she ends up going on an away mission to a penal colony.

The movie ends quite abruptly, but then again, that’s kind of wear it started.  The movie promises more than it can actually deliver.  This is a dull, rather listless little sex comedy that has the minimum of sex or comedy.  Was this trip really necessary?